Control freak!

I heard a story, in a Love and Logic seminar that went like this...a boy grew up and married a woman who hen pecked him to death. She told him what to do, she controlled every aspect of him and he was miserable. So was his mother!! She hated how her son was treated. Someone pointed out to her that she had raised her son to be dependent on HER for every decision, never relying on his own judgement and never having to suffer the consequences/rewards of his own decisions. Then, he grew up and married a new "mother" who would continue him in his miserable cycle. Ouch.

I love Love and Logic and no, they don't pay me to blog about them! I'm really working on giving my kids autonamy. It is a process and against my nature, sometimes, but I do love it. I've seen how controlling moms can ruin their children's lives from lack of confidence to make decisions, total lack of confidence in themselves, and even broken marriages because a mom couldn't stop meddling. I don't want my kids to live their lives to make ME happy but rather to live for God and fulfill His plan for them. (When it comes down the road to marriage, I want to support them. Marriage is a challenge and is difficult, even though wonderful too. Every marriage has struggles and I want them to be able to handle those gracefully, in God's way, even when it means I have to see them hurt, which WILL kill me! )

I like James 1. In one verse, it says to be slow to speak but quick to listen. In another, it says if a person doesn't bridle their tongue, his religion(faith) is worthless. There are more verses about keeping quiet, all over the Bible. I continue to learn from these verses. As my kids get older, I hope I can keep my opinions to myself more often and enourage them to make wise decisions. I want them to be able to live without being dependent on ME but rather to be dependent on God. It is an ongoing lesson for me...prayers appreciated! Motherhood DID come with a book of instructions, I just need to read them and seek out my tutoring from God!