I'm on lunch break at school. My heart and mind are boiling over with sadness, disgust, frustration, disappointment, dismay, horror, and all other negative, hurtful feelings. This is a public blog, that shows a little ray of insight into my heart. If what I write here upsets you, feel free to use that little red "X" at the top right hand corner of your screen. I need to be honest and journal for a few minutes....
I used to live with the mushrooms in the dark. It was safe there and I didn't see reality of public education from my hidden little place. Having become a teacher, the sun glares its spotlight on the dirtiness that I am now a part of. I used to have teachers and administrators on a pedestal of good character and good living. I have
MANY fellow teachers whom I hold in
HIGH regard. I work with the best. However, I reflect on the many times, in many places I saw those pillars of character boldly displayed on the outsides of schools, as I passed by. They used to give me warm fuzzies. Now, they give me shivers. Why? Because we teach by our character. If we aren't living it, what is the purpose in teaching it in the classroom?
I've lost 8 co-workers in my school to budget cuts. We've lost our programs, which may, by miracle be brought back. However, high school sports are intact. I LOVE high school sports and want them there. My kids love them. They keep kids in school and keep grades up due to elegibility. However, is it really fair to sacrifice education to athletics? Coaches jobs are miraculously saved, despite the years they've worked. I heard that the two teaching positions in our middle school will need to be offered to someone with coaching desire and experience so they can coach at the high school level. Never mind the most "highly qualified"....and that will be MY daughter's teachers for one more year.
I hear those in high places lying, blatantly, in public. Leaders. Leaders of what? Where are those pillars? Oh, I see them now, crumbled and now gravel at the entrances of various school related offices. Sadly, the gravel trail is thickly laid from the federal level of education to the local level.
Budget cuts hurt. They pull down the morale of everyone in the school. Some of the cuts, a school board has no control over. There must be cuts, when government doesn't fund education. I wish there were more strong, honest, outspoken people on school boards and in school leadership. Those who put the interests of children above the fear of being outcast for speaking out.
Then there are those, in places of control that have agendas that don't include the state holders in the district. If a team is routing for several sides and has extreme different goals, is it still a team?
I promise to balance this with the good stuff very soon. Don't give up on the happy me returning. Ugly is really ugly when it is revealed. The Ugly has shocked and stunned me into writing about it. Thanks for being my therapist!
Oh so thankful for cousins, relaxing fun days, smiles galore and shaded swimming pools! (up to #689)
For FAST times that blow all of the thoughts and worries from your brain and rattle your body so much that the extra ones jiggle right out! (Jess and Selina) (690)
For Aunties, for nephews, for nieces. For the bonds that make my sisters kids mine and my kids theirs. (#691-694)
For teasing! For powdered sugar donuts that are yucky and smiles that say, "Oh no they aren't!" For Great nieces....cause plain ol' nieces were pretty special already! For life jackets too! Especially pink ones. (#695-701)
For KISSES!!! and how they are so much more fun when someone is saying ,"Don't you DARE kiss my daughter!!!"(#702-703)
Should I be thankful for dorky "I'm cool" looks? Yes, I am. And for toes that in "tippy" position make us taller women! (#707-708)
