an open letter about my faith

If you were to ask me what church to attend, I would not tell you. I would tell you to pray for guidance. If you were to ask me if only one church is right, I would tell you my opinion....a personal relatonship with God is right. I would tell you about the joy God has brought into my life, but only if you ask. I am not a tree stump Christian nor one with an agenda that is in any way negative. My agenda consists only. only. only of my salvation, knowing the true scripture, having a personal relationship with God and loving those around me with the realization that my Jesus died for them. Of course, raising my kids to know God is also a big part of what is important to me.

My spirituality is very personal to me and yet very public because it is who I am. Knowing God has been a painful, hard, emotional, wonderful, joyous, heart wrenching, euphoric, tearful, etc. etc. experience and I'm pretty sure it will continue to be most of those from time to time.

I love reading the Bible! I love studying with my family and my Bible study group. I find huge joy in it and for that I'm thankful. I talk to God all day. He isn't a friend I leave in the prayer place, he's one who is beside me all day.

My point is this: My spirituality is mine. The path I've taken is not contagious, so I don't need to be feared.

What I gave up and accidently lost something else...my temper!

I am not catholic, as you might know, but have been thinking how my friends and co-workers who are, give things up for lent. This is a thing that has never made sense to me, even in my childhood. Why give up sodas or chocolate?( I mean, seriously...CHOCOLATE? That is a a basic need!) I don't see the point of giving up those thing in the name of the Lord for a small season. Maybe someday someone will explain it to me.

So, I decided to give up negativity. For good.I knewI couldn't do that on my own, so I would need lots of prayer. No more gossip, no more looking at the glass as half full, no more participating in whining conversations, no more focusing on the 'woe is me' point of view, no more, no more, no more.

It felt good to make this decision. I didn't tell anyone, so I'm not sure who told ol' Mr. Devil. I love the thought that God knows our every thought but the devil has to figure things out from our words and actions. Well...he is VERY perceptive, beware.

Yesterday, I was hit by a crazy whirlwind tornado. Not a real one, but one of those emotional ones that throws a person into a spin. Before I knew it, I was waist deep in negative words, thoughts and..well..the whole situation. I spoke before I thought, I acted before I knew what I was doing. I did it all before I thought to pray and turn it over to my coach, my partner in this. (I AM a momma bear and when a person messes with my kids, I loose it, whether right or wrong. )

I failed, but I'm asking God for grace to keep trying. Again, and again, and again. It is like a diet, only a diet of a different sort.

Why make this a blog post? Because you are my friend and we're human. Sometimes that is a good thing to remember. We fail, we feel alone, we regret, we hurt, we struggle. It is supposed to be that way. Without that, we'd think we are strong and independence would prevail for some of us. I like remembering that I am nothing on my own. I need to be accountable and I need my God to help me to have grace through the tough stuff! I need my friends too and I'm thankful for you!

funnies

During our move, I found some things I'd written down that Jess said when was was little. She was five, in Tae Kwon Do: On her first day she came home and told me they warmed up with jumping jacks, push ups and cracks. She meant crunches!!

Then, she was in the pre-reading stages and saw the word, "look". She was studying it, recognized the "l" and saw two "o"s. She had heard Cody and Matt using the little ditties to help remember vowel team rules and I heard her say, "when two "L"s going walking, the first one does the talking. Cracked me up!! Ls, vowels, they all sound alike!

What a weekend looks like

Cinderella doing laundry

Queen Lizzie heading out to do chores with her man.

Shopping at Old Navy and hanging out on a Saturday night

Post-shower relaxing after a lazy day at home.

Molly has never lived anywhere but our old home. She was pretty content to be on the deck with Jess. Bonnie, as you can see, is content anywhere she can have a nap in the sun!

Jess making an anklet on the front deck. This weekend's wonderfully warm temperatures have been a treat. We have spring fever!!!!

Monday

Sorry for the boring "no photo" posts! I hate those! However, I am using my laptop and I can't find the little thing for getting my pictures on here! I will....eventually!

We had a good weekend. I dove in on Saturday and got the living room, dining and kitchen set up and decorated. I worked on the wood floors LOTS due to sheetrock dust. That stuff is wicked. Saturday evening I cooked for my parents and the Hickmans. It was good to be back in the business of having people over. I really, really love doing that.

We turned the keys over the the new tenants at the "old" house. It was bittersweet but I remind myself the memories made there are in the heart, not the house. Really, it is a relief to finally belong in one place, not two!

We are all looking forward to spring break in a week or so. The kids are good..in track practice daily. Jess is still playing Pee Wee basketball too. Our high school is starting state tournament play tomorrow. (The girls team.) Rural basketball...ya just gotta love it! It is as serious and essential as oxygen!

This week...

It has been a busy week. We are "in"!!! We are still digging through boxes, but it is nice to be in. I'm looking forward to being settled in and start a new normal.

Monday, My brother in law's mother passed away rather suddenly. My heart has been reaching over to Arkansas all week. It brought back so many memories and emotions from about 14 years ago when Jerry's mom died. It is like Jerry said, "I can't lie, is just doesn't get any easier as time goes on." Moms are special people.

Justin's mom, Cheri Lee (I'm not sure on spelling, sorry) was a sweet lady with a great smile and contagious giggle. She was always kind to us and seemed to genuinely care for us. I like those qualities. I feel for the loss of my loved ones and know the hole a death leaves. That has been my main thought process all week.

I'll post a brighter post soon....hugs to you all the same.

Lessons

What I've learned this weekend:

1. We have entirely to much "stuff".

2. Even after boxes of "goodwill" stuff, we still have entirely to much stuff!

3. I know exactly where the sun rises over the hills from my chair in the living room.

4. I know that we are resilient and I thank God for that. I was worried about this move and, as a family, we feel a closeness and unity.

5. Even though our country was founded on Christian values, values are nothing without a relationship with God. Our country has strayed a long ways. (Courtesy of Cody as we began studying Isaiah today.)

6. I wish my blender could talk. I've had it since high school graduation. It is retiring as soon as I go to a "big town".

7. I value my old stuff more than the new. I love the Hickman's coffee pot, my grandmother's rolling pin, my old family quilts, etc. more than most anything else I own.

8. I'll clean my house cleaner for strangers, who will move in, than for us. Now that is dumb!!

9. I love my parents so much. Their wisdom, patience, generosity, excitement, involvement, love, encouragement, caring, etc. etc. etc. mean so much!

10. Blogging is a great way to sneak away from moving chores.