God knows exactly what I need

I am wondering how many times I've made it hard on my fellow Christian brothers and sisters. I have really examined my heart about this and am praying God will make me aware of my actions and words. Saying "I'm a Christian" is a common thing in this world usually just meaning I believe in Jesus Christ. But, saying it brings a big responsibility. Saying it means nothing if I'm not willing to live it. Not living it voids the words.

We met a man who is hurting. I don't know the extent, the causes, the reasons and maybe never will. He ate supper with us Friday and he touched my heart and made a raw spot. He said he goes to church and I didn't ask the extent of his relationship with God. However, with tears in his eyes, he said, "....she did all that and she's a CHRISTIAN....". He was speaking of a family member of his. That's what made me start thinking, in a deeper than ever way, am I making it hard on brothers and sisters? Are people saying that about my actions and words? It humbled me and makes me feel so strongly that in myself I am absolutely nothing but ugly human stuff. Only through God's work in my life, as He chooses and when He chooses, only those actions are of any value. I really want to be available to Him. We read the verses today in Galatians that talk about being crucified with Him. Crucify is such a violent, Painful word. Am I really willing for that? Not very often.

This man who came into our lives through our purchase of his vehicle caused a gash in my comfort zone. I hoped, when he left our presence, he knew we were Christians not because we said grace before supper or because of my Bible on the table, but by our lives. I hope he saw Jesus in our house, in our family. I hope he felt encouraged and strengthened in God when he left. My eyes tear up as I type because his hurt is the kind that only God can heal and that I felt so keenly just being around him. A youngish man with war injuries that cause him to be visibly disabled...pain from life...I thank God for sharing him with us and gashing open my comfort zone.

Between this experience and going to a funeral of a very special lady, yesterday, my feelings are on top! Okay, okay..maybe because I'm a woman and there are times it is just like that! I loved the theme of the minister...."It is well with my soul". I love that hymn and I listened to it every morning, for a while, on the way to work. That was the theme of Louis's life and I had to say that even though I knew her only a few years, I plainly saw that in her joyous life.

My life is full because God sends me people I need. I am thankful He knows exactly what I need.